Gratitude and Joy coexisting with anger?

This photo was sent to me by my friend Eve in Arizona. She took this picture of her Painted Conure eggs....18 eggs all together!!! Only 4 of them became actual birds in the end though. This is how I feel my life works too: I make a big effort and do a lot of running around, but, in the end, very little gets produced.

The past two days I have been dealing with my own anger. Anger is an emotion I do not often feel. I feel sad, disappointed, self-doubting...but rarely anger. I think when I was a child I decided that anger was an unproductive and destructive emotion and I simply decided not to let myself be angry ever since (but on rare occasion). Only in recent adult years have I allowed myself to feel angry. Anger is a two edged sword, I don't want to slash up myself or anyone else.

I have very little patience for folks who lash out in anger. I run the other direction fast when someone focuses anger my way. Perhaps this isn't so much that anger in itself is bad, it's when I've not done anything to provoke it from the other person. In my attempt to be more honest about my emotions and attitudes I am finding that I do need to acknowledge my own anger more...in a way that is not hurtful though. Keeping it hidden is like covering a dirty wound.

Didn't Jesus say: "Be angry, but do not sin."?
Therefore there must be a way to feel my feelings and not let those feelings become hurtful. I'm still exploring that idea since anger is sort of new to me.

These past two days of feeling angry have made it difficult for me to find gratitude and joy. I want my gratitude to be genuine and not just words I throw down on this blog.

Let me think....hmmmm....still thinking....what am I grateful for now?
I am grateful for my fly swatter. There is a seed moth plague in my bird room and I am swinging that swatter around like there's no tomorrow. A friend suggested I just paint my walls "seed moth grey" and be done with it.

I am grateful for bosc pears. One of the nicest fruits ever.

I am grateful for my hair (the hair on my head anyway).

I am grateful for cotton pajamas.

I am grateful for friends who call me on the phone just because they like talking to me.

I am grateful for netflix movies by mail.

I am grateful for the U.S. Postal Service.

Well, I have managed to find some things that I am really glad for.
This is great in light of the fact that I have not yet worked through all of this anger yet.

Honestly this blog helps me work things out. I've tried personal journals before but they always seemed pointless and I lost momentum after about day 3. The blog makes me accountable (even if just theory) to my readers (both of them).

GratefulJoy