Feeling like I am loved by God

This picture shows Shasta and Franchesco taking turns chewing up a "birdie bagel" toy. It's a nontoxic cardboard thing for birds to play with and chew. Without this sort of chew toy a parrot will eat the household furniture.

Today was both frustrating and blessed, mostly blessed.
I couldn't get my brain or body moving until evening. It was almost like being paralyzed and it isn't fun.

The good news it that when I finally did get up I was blessed with many phone calls from friends wanting to know how my car negotiations went. I had no idea my friends were so emotionally invested in my transportation needs! Honestly made me feel cared for. Plus I was able to share the story of how God is providing the next vehicle for me. It IS a good story!!

Then another friend invited me to visit her in Tennessee at some point, maybe during a holiday. The holidays are difficult for single adults because we don't seem to fit in anywhere. With my parents both deceased I often flounder around Thanksgiving and Christmas and feel really low. If I have a plan and a place set up in advance then I don't have these anxieties. Now I look forward to the holiday season already since I have a wonderful invitation. Last year wasn't bad either because I was looking forward to seeing my sister and her kids in NYC.

It's easy to feel that God might not love me as much as others because He seems to provide better for them than for me. The truth, however, is that God just provides Differently for us all. "Equal", "Fair", "even"....these ideas are a myth and only cause broken relationships. I am happiest when I look to the face of God directly without comparisons.

This evening I felt overwhelmingly loved. All the calls and prayers of friends gave me MORE than my fair share of love. A new reliable vehicle to use is amazing provision from God. I also have Hope (that's a good word!) that I can unscramble the clutter of my life.

I am grateful for my friends. I am very much loved.
I am grateful for God's provision, even if I don't see it until the last moment.
I am grateful for answered prayers.
I am grateful for a trip to look forward to and plan.
I am grateful I had food in my freezer for dinner.
I am grateful Zoey bird was sweet today and didn't bite me.
(she is a good bird, she was just in a bad temper the other day)
I am grateful for my parking space at home.

GratefulJoy

Leasing a Toyota

This picture of Zoey was taken by her previous owner named Eve. I am mighty grateful to Eve for letting Zoey live with me. I am also grateful to Eve for training Zoey from a young age to wear the harness....something my current birds will not tolerate. And, today I am even more grateful for the prayer and testimonies of God doing amazing things in her life. Eve helped me see more clearly today that God is bigger than my needs.

I am pretty sure I will be leasing a new Toyota on a pretty amazing lease deal. I need a miracle for my current old Mazda since it isn't worth anything as long as it is stalled. Nobody seems to know how to obtain a new or used ECU for a 1994 manual transmission Mazda Protege'. So if any of you have one of these things in your attic then let me know a.s.a.p.!

It was a long afternoon and evening at the auto dealership today. I feel happy I made up my mind about what to do and I feel I had favor with God and man. I won't be driving my new leased car until next week because my auto insurance is closed on Sundays and I need to get good coverage (full coverage) as part of the lease agreement.

I am still renting a storage unit which is beyond my means, though it has helped keep me sane for the past year. Time for me to root through it and sort and discard and file and all the other things needed in order for me to stop needing it. Since I live in partial "brain fog" I need God to give me wisdom and clarity to face this mountain of storage. I've come to believe that NEEDING God is a good place. It reminds me that my life is more about God than about me and my limitations.

With the new Toyota I am probably going to be paranoid about spills and dirt and scratches for the first few months. Maybe I should put plastic wrap all over the inside and out? I think I could perhaps come up with something more attractive than that if I thought about it.

I am grateful for the new car to use.
I am grateful I got a really good bargain price.
I am grateful I had a good salesman.
I am grateful I stood my ground with the the not so great finance guy.
I am grateful that God has a solution for my old car sale.
I am grateful God will help me make all of my lease payments either on time or early.
I am grateful I am now at home, since I am so very exhausted.

GratefulJoy

Hope revisited

This photo is one of my Pacific Parrotlet babies learning to eat seeds and pellets, fruits and raisins. Although this baby is long gone to it's new home, I have hope of more Parrotlet babies since Gloria has four tiny eggs.

Today I allowed myself to dream. I was born a dreamer. Prayer with friends the past few days has reminded me to revisit that part of me....it is part of what makes me like my Heavenly Father. Dreaming helps me remember that God is able to do all things in my life even when I am tiny and insignificant and lacking.

All this dreaming and hoping brings me a joy in my spirit and lightness of being. I hope I can hang onto this hope, it is nourishment and life.

Today I dared to research cars online that are far out of my income bracket (that is pretty much all new cars, and most used ones also). It was freeing. I may even test drive a new Toyota Prius or a Ford Escape Hybrid. I love their greeniness.

If God gave me the car I've been driving since January 1994 then He can do it again. I don't know how, but He CAN! I look forward to seeing how God will provide for the next car. If Jesus can tell his apostles to go get a fish and use the coin found in it's mouth to pay their taxes...my stuff is doable too.

It would be dangerous if I were prone to irresponsibility to be such a dreamer. The ironic fact is that I am shockingly frugal and financially responsible. I would rather starve than be late paying a bill. So I am reminded to think bigger now than my little income and bigger than my little life. God seems to smile on me when He and I dream together.

I am grateful for the hope of this day.
I am grateful for friends who bless me and encourage me to be me.
I am grateful for my friend Eve who shared so many amazing "God" stories with me about how God provided her with cars over the years.
I am grateful I feel empowered by Joy.
I am grateful God is BIG.
I am grateful God is also in the small stuff with me.
I am grateful for this blog too.

GratefulJoy

A hard day to dream

When Marty was a baby I enjoyed every moment of his development. When he began to love toys I fell in love with him all over again.

Today was difficult. It was too hot. Zoey was moody and bit me.
My car is still in the shop and the mechanic cannot find the part to repair it (ECU). I know I need a new car but I am too practical to start test driving when I am in the sort of debt I am currently under. I just felt sad.

A phone chat with my Joyful friend helped me remember who God made me to be: A Dreamer and Visionary.
Dream Big! Dream Bold!
Inside I wrestle with my the super responsible me that always wants to pay bills early and have all my ducks in a row. Is it irresponsible to trust God when what I need is beyond my income? The question for me isn't the "trust" it's the purchase.

I am grateful for my Joyful friend who gave me a reminder to look with fresh eyes at my circumstances and needs.
I am grateful for lemon jello.
I am grateful for the new car to come (from God)

GratefulJoy

A hot day and a blessed evening

Here we have (again) Zoey and Daffy in the shower. I need to get more creative with my picture taking.

It was another sweltering day in Lemon Grove. I worried about my birds and heat stroke and did all I could to offer them cold water (ice water) keep it as breezie as possible. They all made it through another day, though I am not certain the eggs are not cooked.

This evening (Tues) I shared a meal with friends who are doing the "Thrive" work shop. The idea is to sort of reboot our lives by retraining our brains. It's based on God being God and relationship with Him and His people being the key to healing and healthy emotions.

My Joyful friend made another scrumptious and nutritious dinner for us complete with homemade chocolate pudding with organic chocolate. All I can say about that is:
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

I am much appreciative of my friends Alin and Wendy driving far out of their way to take me to Joyful's place...and then home again.

I am grateful also for the frozen food given to me by another sweet friend.

I am grateful we had good fellowship and made progress in the Thrive thing.

I am grateful I got to be part of something good that God is doing.

I am grateful Gloria has a fourth egg and is still caring for 3 foster eggs.

I am grateful for cuddles with Daffy tonight.

I am grateful for Nutriberries - my bird's favorite snack food.

I am grateful for Deep Olive green (the color).

GratefulJoy

Car towed today

Here is a photo of Daffy and Zoey looking out my bathroom window after their shower today (Monday). Zoey is getting better at respecting Daffy's boundaries and Daffy is being less of a scaredy-cat.

This afternoon I finally got my car towed to a mechanic.
I have not yet discussed a plan with them about repairs, so, I hope it is an easy and cheap one

If I were better with auto mechanic stuff myself then I would just keep repairing this old car until it fell into dust. Since I am not so gifted, I am exploring new car options. I will need a miracle to get to that new car even if it is the cheapest one on the lot. Good thing I believe in miracles then.

Today I am grateful for my blender.
I am grateful Treasure laid another egg.
I am grateful Gloria is sitting her eggs well, and also some of Treasure's eggs.
I am grateful for a phone call from a friend and an offer for a drive somewhere.
I am grateful for DVD movies.
I am grateful I have some clean clothes to wear.
I am grateful for refreshing showers.
I am grateful for my bed.

GratefulJoy

Playing "musical eggs"

This picture shows three baby Pacific Parrotlets in my kitchen nearly five years ago. I raised their mommy and daddy...and one of them is Gloria, now sitting on 3 eggs of her own (plus 3 of Treasure's eggs).

Today I threw out one of Treasure's seven eggs. It was an egg I had tried to repair with nail polish...but it was obvious it had not survived. As eggs in Treasure and Berry's nest continue to be damaged I am faced with the dilemma of what to do to rescue the eggs and babies inside? I took a little action.

I removed three of the six (remaining good eggs) and placed them in my second Painted Conure pair's nest box in hope that they would foster the eggs and babies. However, after a while it was clear that they didn't want the job.
So, I placed the three eggs in Gloria's nest box along side her two eggs.
It's like playing "musical chairs" with these eggs...

I checked this evening again in Gloria's box and see there are now 3 Pacific Parrotlet eggs (Gloria's) and the three Painted Conure eggs (Treasure's) all being
warmed by little parrotlet bodies. The Conure eggs are twice the size of the Parrotlet eggs but Gloria and Wally are sitting on them anyway. I do hope this works.

The three eggs left in Treasure and Berry's box are a gamble too. Treasure has potential to lay another egg or so and it is possible she will be a great mother to any hatched babies. She raised many babies perfectly, except last year all of the babies were killed in the nest box. This year's damaged eggs are a grim reminder of the need to pray for these little potential birds. I think Berry and Treasure have a chase in the box issue that damages the eggs. I've caught them in this flurry and saw that the eggs were tossed all over the place as a result.

Tomorrow I may be able to finally have my Mazda towed to the mechanic shop. Will be nice to have freedom of mobility again soon.

Right now I am grateful for Gloria and her three eggs.
I am grateful Gloria is nesting her eggs and seems to be incubating Treasure's 3 also.
I am grateful I found Zoey safe after I fell asleep with her in the bathroom window...and awoke several hours later to find her on top of Dooby's cage under a sheet.
I am grateful for frozen dinners.
I am grateful for the phone call today from my friend in Tennessee.
I am grateful for first hand experience of God's love for me.

GratefulJoy

Easy Joy

On a hot day like today I enjoy revisiting Alaska via my photos from last year's trip. My photos were not award winning, but I enjoy the memories.

Yesterday was a particularly joyful day. Joy comes to me most easily when I am with beloved friends. Even easier when beloved friends and I share a fun moment or the like. I was able to connect.

I grew up in a home where it was odd for a day to go by where someone didn't show up unexpectedly at the door. Usually friends and family were coming and going all day long. In Southern California the unexpected drop-in hasn't caught on so much. When I show up unannounced at someone's door here they stare at me from the doorway with a puzzled look and usually ask "why are you here?"

My Joyful friend brought by something I needed and also a surprise gift from another friend. Yes, I love surprises...I love gifts...I love it when friends surprise me with gifts. When Joyful arrived she was too tired to walk up my stairs, so, we sat at the foot of my steps and each had a piece of dried ginger root. Dried ginger root is cool and refreshing...for a few seconds, then becomes a wild blaze. Fortunately Joyful had an apple to chase down the ginger. We were thanking God for fresh apples.


Next another friend picked me up and we had dinner at a new Thai restaurant and ate amazing fresh spring rolls with a great friend. We followed it with some really well prepared Pad Thai. Our conversation was primarily: "Oh, doesn't that look good?", "Mmmmm", "Oh my goodness, this is delicious!", and "I could eat this every day", and "These spring rolls are so much better than the last place."
Not the stuff of novels, but our tongues and tummies were too happy to be eloquent.

After our dinner we noticed a huge ocean mural painted in an obscure place next to the parking lot. It was a real surprise to find something so like that in this hidden nook. After we enjoyed the painting we ran some errands. Even errands are fun when the experience is shared with a friend.

After I got home I discovered that Treasure now has 7 eggs in her nest box. My pacific parrotlet named Gloria has one egg in her's. Ah, just what I prayed for.

Joy is easy for me when I am in community (as it was meant to be).
Joy is a challenge when I am isolated or faced with questions I have no answer to.

I am grateful for yesterday with it's many blessings.
I am grateful I have managed to find the nicest people in the world as friends.
I am grateful for Thai restaurants.
I am grateful for new parrot eggs.
I am grateful for easy joy.
I am grateful for joy that comes with decided effort also.

GratefulJoy

Hot, sticky, blind, and grateful

In this photo we see my friend Joanne watching TV while Daffy sits on her shoulder. I took the picture several years back, but I like looking at it still. Reminds me of happy stuff.

Today it is hot in my apartment. The building is designed in a way that lets the temperature get about 15 degrees hotter in my place than outside. If it is 87 outside then it is nearly 100 inside. Sweltering.

Much of the afternoon was spent in bed with the window A.C. on. My eyes are not focusing today so I am not up to doing anything requiring good vision. It's not an eye issue, it's a neurological issue that flares up when my immune system is stressed. I learn to compensate and realize it will be alright soon enough.

I am grateful right now because (I had let my prescription drug insurance lapse and I thought I was in a pickle since I am out of some necessary things....but,) I made a phone call (hour long hold time) which gave me the fantastic news that I am still covered for August. Now I need only to figure out how to pick up these things while my car is down. My pharmacy is about a 10 minute drive from here. It will work out.

I am grateful for my bedroom and the Air Conditioner there.
I am grateful I have experience that lets me know I will see better tomorrow or the next day.
I am grateful I have prescription drug insurance for the month.
I am grateful I have a good doctor and medications that make my life bearable.
I am grateful I have friends that love me.
I am grateful for creative ideas and adventures.
I am grateful I am still learning how to be a better ME even at middle age.

GratefulJoy

House arrest, but not for long

This photo shows Isabella, Philippine Blue Nape Parrot, playing with a tupperware toy. The funny thing about owning parrots is that you must give them something to do. It's like having a toddler or preschooler forever.

Today:
My car is still out of service and in my parking spot. I suppose that is the most ideal place for a stalled car to sit....unless one's car breaks down while driving onto an auto mechanic's lot.

The good news is that my new Premium AAA auto club membership will kick in next week and I will have a free tow to a well recommended mechanic. My current "standard" AAA covered only 7 miles of towing, while premium covers up to 100 miles of towing. The mechanic I need is 13.6 miles from my place. The upgrade makes sense for a mere $20 per year. If AAA knew how I touted the praises of their auto club I think they would give me some sort of commission. Did you know members get discounts all over the place that are in no way auto related? Plus, free maps and directions!
Membership covers you no matter in who's car you sit. It's golden.

Well I need to wait until next week for this upgraded towing because I cannot afford the non AAA tow and there is a 7 day wait for it to kick in. That's OK because I will not die in a week without a car. I have bread and cheese and oatmeal and veggies and plenty of bird food for now. I have no fresh fruit, which I will miss and so will the birds during the week. Though I wouldn't deem it impossible for me to get to a grocery store without my car in the next few days.

What I am grateful for right now is that I have a plan. That plan is to go to a specific mechanic and let them fix the car. That sounds absurdly simple, how is that a plan? It's a "plan" for me because I was trying to find a way to fix it myself and get the part online at a discount. That idea would have been cheaper but I take the risk of making errors or finding the task too big for my britches.
I feels great to have made this wise choice.
God will even provide a way to pay the bill.

In a couple of days a friend of mine is taking me out for Thai food at a restaurant I have not yet tried. I will get out of the house then and eat something scrumptious all while visiting with a wonderful person. All good!

Treasure and Berry have not destroyed any more of their eggs. Good.
Not sure the eggs with nail polish will develop right, but I am praying.

Gloria has not yet laid any eggs but she and Wally are nesting in their box a lot. I expect eggs from them soon. They had two baby boys a couple of years ago but none else. I am excited for the tiny Kermit the frog birdies to come (keeping faith here).

My neighbors who were borrowing my car have a new car now and don't need mine anymore. Good thing too. The sad news for me is that their garage is busy holding their new car and no longer a possiblity for me. I suppose I will figure out something to remedy my storage rental situation before long...have too...can't afford the thing.

One of my baby bird buyers is diappointed in me because I have not sent him his bird's DNA gender certificate yet. It's been over 10 months and he believes I am slacking on the job. Truthfully, I just don't know where I put the thing. I know the bird is a boy because I logged it on my computer when I got the test results. The certificate proof is somewhere in the debris of my life. I hate disappointing anyone. I am not malicious and I don't do it on purpose. I simply am not all here. If I were able to be punctual and neat and efficient then I would be employed and not living in this rental in Lemon Grove. I do need prayer, however, because I want to give what I owe to this man and also other people who have waited a couple of years already for beaded jewelry which I have not completed.

My challenge is myself. That fine balance between being good to my body and mind and also meeting all obligations. If you knew me well you would know that as a perfectionist this is very hard.

A friend quoted me a verse the other day that said:
"Perfect is the enemy of Good."

Perfect is a myth (unless you are God) anyhow. I've wasted a lot of good energy on things I never completed because I saw I could not make them perfect. Right now I am turning a new page on my life. From now on it's "this is good enough."
That sounds absurd to me...I am not the "good enough" type, but, I need to learn.

I am grateful for AAA auto club.
I am grateful for a chosen mechanic.
I am grateful I have food in my house.
I am grateful I have a friend who will get me out on Thursday.
I am grateful for Treasure and Berry and their five eggs.
I am grateful Daffy met the neighbors little girl today.
I am grateful I am learning new skills (such as moderation).
I am grateful for the provision of God.
I am grateful we are all unique and wonderfully made.

GratefulJoy

Joy found me today

This photo shows one of my Pacific Parrotlet babies (a few years ago) at about three weeks old. He is just learning to perch on a finger and is really wobbly. Obviously not ready to fly yet.

Still stranded in Lemon Grove, but it wasn't a bad day.
I walked half a mile to Taco Bell for a $2 dinner and then home again.
I visited a local music shop and got a free violin lesson, very cool. Always wanted to play the violin; I am now one lesson into violinism. Not sure if there will ever be a second violin lesson. I'm not a prodigy.

Did I mention I saw a Coyote outside my front door early this week? That's a first here. To me that is just below seeing a bear or mountain lion. Makes me feel alive.

Treasure has five eggs as of this evening. Keep praying for the eggies so they don't get scrambled.

I had a lot of joy today. Just the gift of joy...nothing special happened, I just had joy. God's gift to me. Thanks God!

I am grateful for today.
I am grateful for my one violin lesson.
I am grateful Gloria (parrotlet) is going to make eggs soon.
I am grateful Treasure has five eggs.
I am grateful I was able to walk a mile today.
I am grateful dinner was only two dollars.
I am grateful I got outside.
I am grateful joy found me.
I am grateful for continued hope that I will figure out a way to fix my car.
I am grateful for the faith that God will provide me a nice new car when the time is right for that as well.

GratefulJoy

Still stranded in Lemon Grove, but grateful

This picture shows my Pacific Parrotlet named Gloria as she destroys my table cloth. Right now Gloria and her sweetie Wally are about to lay eggs...Gloria is "with egg", egg-nant...

I am grateful that after more than two years of no eggs or babies Gloria and Wally are ready to try again. The parrotlets are not financially valuable, but they are absolutely marvelous little birds to raise. They look like little Kermit the frogs.

I am grateful Treasure hasn't totally destroyed her four eggs. I'm not sure how much hope to hold for the two eggs I have repaired with nail polish, but I suppose anything is possible, eh?

My Mazda is still marooned in my parking spot. This is frustrating because I hate feeling trapped. Even if I don't want to go somewhere...I like to know that I could if I wanted to. And, I just spent money on the car! Another opportunity for God to show Himself as my provider I suppose. That's hard for a do-it-myself type like me.

At this moment I am grateful I have eggs and more eggs on the way (not chicken eggs).
I am grateful for my Joyful friend and the many blessings that come with that friendship.
I am grateful for angel hair pasta.
I am grateful I found my kitchen sink and did some of my dishes.
I am grateful for the hope I have that I will get my car running again.
I am grateful God has a new car for me, even if I have absolutely no idea how that will happen.

GratefulJoy

Rowdy in the nest box

This is a picture of my four Painted Conure babies from 2006. Daffy watches in the background.

Treasure and Berry - my pair of Painted Conures who have produced babies in the past - have four eggs in their nest box and will soon have five. These little eggs need a load of prayer just to survive egg-hood...I've already put finger nail polish on two of the eggs because they are damaged.

Tonight I heard a racket coming from Treasure and Berry's nest box and I took a peek inside. The two of them were running circles in there and had buried their four eggs with pine shavings so that I had to rummage around to find them. Had I not intervened, I doubt the birds would have been able to find the eggs after their romp. Or, all of the eggs would have been smashed.

I am glad I was able to calm the birds down and settle them on top of the eggs again. This is a predicament though. Remember, I found all of Treasure and Berry's babies dead last year after hatching...a grim discover which I pray never happens again.

On another note, I had planned to do something about my broken car today. Unfortunately, I am not sure what "something" would be. So instead I called AAA auto club to see if my new membership card will soon arrive. It felt as if I were doing something anyway.

Perhaps while I sleep tonight I will have an inspired dream that will show me the path to follow for automobile health? Other people have dreams with significance, I believe I could have dreams that mean something too. So far I don't have that gift of dreams I hear of.

Right now I am grateful the birds are all asleep with full tummies.
I am grateful for the shower I am about to take.
I am grateful for the hope I have that my car glitch will be fixable without major expense.

GratefulJoy

Things that ARE

My neighbor took this photo of a rose which was on his potted rose bush. Very pretty!

I am tired and it is very early in the morning, though I want to take time to express my gratitude for small accomplishments tonight (Monday night).
I bought and installed a new door bell.
I bought a quart of oil for my car and put it in the car already.
I found a new nightie for $3 (all cotton).
I loaned my car to neighbors so they could go to the store.
I had a nice chat with another neighbor.
I gave a bit of attention to each of my birds, particularly Dooby.
I had dinner.
I filled my car with gasoline.
I located my car fire extinguisher (always be prepared).

While many other things go undone, I want to be glad for the things that ARE more so than the things that ARE NOT.

GratefulJoy

A day of restoration

This photo is of my Plumhead Parrot named Houdini.
He came to me with a funky right eye and a birth defect that left him with only one half of his tail. Houdini is lopsided, but loved.

Sunday was a day of restoration for me.
I made it to the bird club picnic - even though I got there after the food was already gone - and was able to donate some nice stuff to the raffle table and play some games. Saw some friends there I hadn't seen for a while. Brought Zoey with me on her bird harness....only bird there on a leash. One couple said she was a lot like a small terrier.

After the picnic I was happy. I had given some nice things away that clears some of my space and blesses someone else. Good fellowship and some laughter. And, Zoey was very well behaved considering she hasn't been socialized all that much.

Next Zoey and I drove to my friends' place and made an emergency water stop on the way. My car A.C. is broken and Zoey was panting from the heat. After waking my Joyful friend from her nap to borrow her kitchen sink, Zoey and I made our way to Alin and Wendy's place where I kidnapped Wendy for a little adventure.

This was the weekend of the U.S. Sand Castle Competition at Imperial Beach. I've never seen it. We drove south to the beach...but the tide had taken away all of the sand sculptures a couple hours before. Aw, well, we got to walk in the sand along the beach anyway. It was Zoey's first visit to the beach.

Traffic was horrible on the way out of the beach so we decided to wait it out at a little Thai restaurant. I thought we would order out since I had a bird with me...but the restaurant said Zoey would be OK inside. We had my favorites: Chicken Satay and Tom Ka Soup. Wendy and I feasted while Zoey rested cuddled under my chin the whole time, she was exhausted.

Perfect timing for traffic. We sailed our way home without any traffic congestion. The evening was an impromptu 3 hour vacation. I am very grateful for my friend and the refreshing time we shared.

Today I was tired but happy. A little bit of blessings carries me a long way.
I am grateful I have friends.
I am grateful I have birds.
I am grateful I live near the Ocean.
I am grateful for refreshment of my soul.

GratefulJoy

Wipe Out...

Today's photo shows two female Plum Head Parakeets and a male Cockatiel having a shower in my bathroom. Waldo has since gone to live with neighbors, since I was allergic to him, and the two Plum Heads, Jelly and Baby Girl, are still here with me. I hear my birds mention Waldo nearly every day still.

The last couple of days I have been wiped out.
I don't mean just tired....I mean run-over, deflated, brain-dead, hard to breath because the gravity is too heavy sort of tired. Very frustrating, very frustrating indeed.

It really isn't that much comfort when friends tell me not to feel badly about my lack of productivity because this is beyond my control. You see, I still need to live life. Life includes bills and meals and baths and deadlines and postage stamps and all the rest of it. It isn't going to happen FOR me, I need to get my own stuff done. On days such as yesterday and today I neither bathed nor brushed my teeth.
Gross!!!!

Last night A bright ray of sunshine showed up at my door in the evening with tacos. An unexpected visit from my Joyful friend, and not a moment too soon. My house was too messy to find chairs and a table, so we picniced (had a picnic) on my bed. Afterward we played with Zoey bird a bit. We smiled and chatted. It was a gift to me from God.

Today didn't hold such a gift and I still need to make something to eat for the potluck thing tomorrow. And it would be good for everyone if I showered too.
I need God above to help me down here. I admit that I am powerless and need a "greater power" to fix this life of mine. Actually I've been saying that for a long while...so, where is God? I know He is with me but I don't see all that I need around me or in me (energy, clarity, stuff like that).

I was thinking about Joy as I lay in bed this afternoon. How do I get to joy when I am having a really terrible, very bad, no-good day?

I will be grateful right now, even if today was a wipe-out and tomorrow is hanging by a thread.

I am grateful for the surprise visit from my Joyful friend.
I am grateful Treasure has two eggs in the nest box.
I am a little sad that Picasso and Missie's eggs are all duds...
but, I love these two birds just the same and I am grateful to have them.
I am grateful I had grapes in my fridge today.
I am grateful I had crackers and cheese to eat tonight.
I am grateful I somehow manage to feed and water my birds no matter how awful I feel.

Hey, you two fans out there, if you think of me, would you please say a prayer that I perk up? I need some supernatural intervention to get this life rolling again.

GratefulJoy

Introspective turn of thought

This is a picture of an Albino budgie (parakeet) which I raised and sold many years ago. I took the photo using a digital camera with no view finder or gauges...resulting in not a terrific photo...but, that camera only cost $30.

How did I get interested in birds? That question comes up a lot.
I've always been fascinated by animals. As a child I would fantasise about turning my bedroom (not really "my" bedroom with 11 siblings) into a jungle complete with dirt, trees and monkeys. However ridiculously impractical that idea was, it was the mind of a child going beyond the possible as only a child's mind can go.

Forty years later I am a little shocked that my childhood dream has taken shape somewhat in the form of a bird room in my apartment. Birds are exceedingly messy. I think that if I watered my carpet a complete garden would bloom.

It started with Budgies. I had a roommate many years back who had a budgie parakeet named "Baby". Baby was so funny! He was obsessed with bells. He loved to ring bells, throw bells, cuddle with bells, sleep with bells. And he talked a lot, which surprised me since I thought only the big parrots talk.
I thank/curse my roommate Amy for introducing me to pet birds. Eventually she and I both wound up with more than just one.


My first bird was my Meyers parrot named Dooby.
Every night I tell him he is my "big bird" and that I love him.
Once I was hooked on hookbills, I wanted to try to raise them.
So I bred Budgies, not too hard to do, to learn how it works.

The babies were like Tribbles (Trekkies out there?), warm fuzzy things that sit in your hand and give that warm happy feeling. Down-side of budgies is they are not worth what they cost to raise. So, although I loved the budgies, I was losing money. There was also the fact that they shed feathers a lot and I am slightly allergic to them.

The budgies ended up in other homes and I moved on to other small parrots. Almost all of my birds are happy accidents that just landed (pun) in my lap. I either won them in raffles or they were given to me.

Contrary to what it looks like from my photos, I produce very few baby birds. None at all last year and only 4 the year before. It's not a profitable venture.
First my birds are pets, and, if they happen to make a baby now and then it is a bonus.

I am full-up on birds now. There is no room in my space or my day to take care of and fully nurture any new birds (except the future babies, if any).
Relative to other "bird people" I have few birds. Perhaps if I were more energetic or owned a home it would be different? Don't know.

One blessing the birds offer me is companionship. They talk to me and are surprisingly good at letting their wants and needs be known. They fill a void where children should be at this phase in my life. I would rather have human children, but God knows best.

I suppose from this blog and some other angles it looks like birds are my all-consuming passion. Actually, I think of myself as more of an artist since that is my college background and natural aptitude. But even before that I feel I am a child of God. As such I wear many hats: missionary, counselor, helper, giver, and whatever else God tosses in my path to take up.

Right now I am thankful that I am a child of God, safe in His care.
I am grateful for many experiences in life that teach me and enrich my soul.
I am grateful for the creativity that wells up inside me and spills over whether I want it to or not.
I am grateful that God is pleased with me no matter how scattered or diverse my life may be.
I am grateful.

GratefulJoy

Win-Win car sharing

Here is a photo of my bird Dooby enjoying the big new play perch I won at the bird club on Monday. Right now Dooby is on that perch again...except he is shouting at me to come and pick him up, or give him treats...I don't know which.

I am sharing my old car right now with some new neighbors who are without. Their truck died and they are two working parents.

It isn't much of a sacrifice for me to share my old Mazda with them since I don't drive much and the car is 17 years old (and looks it). It is a blessing when I can give. I was born to give. I wish I had more to give.

It turns out that my neighbors don't use all of their garage right now, so they may be blessing me in return by letting put my storage temporarily in that garage. I am currently renting a storage unit I can in no way afford. So, this share/trade thing will be a win-win.

I am grateful for my old car.
I am grateful for the future use of a garage for storage.
I am grateful for many other blessings which my brain just cannot
articulate right now.

GratefulJoy

An evening fit for a bird-nerd

Here we see Shasta and Franchesco enjoying a refreshing shower on a hot summer day.

Tonight I had a bird club meeting and it was particularly informative. We had a guest speaker from out of state that has expertise in animal behavior...and human behavior. I learned that I am a bit impatient with my parrots. I learned that I need to enrich my bird environment and activity options. I learned loads of other things as well...

After the speaker we had our usual pot-luck and raffle table. In addition to a meal I did not slave over, I was blessed with some spectacular raffle table prizes. I won the online workshop that our guest speaker does each year for parrot owners. Since there is a 2 year waiting list for this workshop I think I really scored! I also won a new table top manzanita birdie play gym. This play gym is far nicer than the older one I have which is missing some key elements now that many beaks have had at it.

When it is daylight I will try to take a photo of my new improved play gym.

I am grateful for the blessings of today.
I am grateful for solid parrot information.
I am grateful for the evening meal.
I am grateful for the swanky prizes I won in the raffle.
I am grateful for the good fellowship with other bird-nerds.

GratefulJoy

Today came and went

Marty became very good at playing on a bird gym...and he loved his toys.

Today I was sad that I missed the parade (which I was supposed to be in with a bird). In fact, I have not seen a human face all day (except for television). I have found that having joy does not mean that I will not feel sad.

In the evening I watched TV and played with beads (which means I was experimenting with colors and stitches for the beaded jewelry that I make).

The day came and it went even faster.
I choose to be grateful that I lived today.

I am grateful my birds are all healthy.
I am grateful for cold drinks.
I am grateful for things hoped for.

GratefulJoy